‘And this one! Most definitely,’ he said, looking Albert straight in the eyes. Albert shut the back door of his car.
‘Mine?’ Albert asked.
‘Oh, yes, we’ll need to destroy yours,’ Onk! said as one of the men tried to open the driver’s side door. ‘Give me your keys.’
‘No,’ Albert said, shocked he would even ask.
‘Fine,’ Onk! said, which relieved Albert for a moment--until Onk! walked up to the window and smashed it in, reaching inside to unlock it. ‘Get it out of park and roll it over to the arena.’
Three men quickly complied. Albert stood there, watching them force the car into neutral and roll it away. Onk! swung an arm around Albert’s neck.
‘Trust me, you’ll thank me later,’ said Onk! Albert looked up at him to see his big white eyeballs with those sharp black irises staring at him relentlessly. Albert was not unattractive.
Onk! followed his men toward the pit, leaving Albert alone and confused. Eventually, Albert made his way toward the pit to watch the destruction of his car.
They blew up one car before they got to his, pouring gas over it and lighting it up with a Zippo lighter. Albert was paralyzed as he watched the black smoke rise up to the heavens, the golden highlights from the fire. For a brief instant, Albert wondered why the police hadn’t arrived yet--why the police were nowhere to be found. Albert didn’t realize I need them to arrive at the end of the story, implausible as it may be.
A man with curly graying hair and a face with a strange vitality approached Albert. ‘Was that your car?’
‘Yes.’
‘You didn’t want it to be blowm up.’
‘No.’
‘I’m sorry they did that. That wasn’t nice.’
‘They had no right!’
‘Well, you may think so.’
‘Don’t you?’
‘No.’
‘Why, they quite clearly have no right to take another man’s car against his will and blow it up right in front of him! And for no good reason!’
‘What’s his reason?’
‘Who could say? I don’t know.’
‘Then how could you say it’s not good?’
‘Well, I suppose I don’t know if it’s good or not, but he should have at least articulated some reason to me before he went and blew up my car! It’s not like I have many of those.’
‘I’m sure you don’t. But if you need a ride, they haven’t blown up my car yet.’
Another car exploded. A man rose up from the crowd and was not taking it as well as Albert.
‘See here! See here, that was my car! You had no right to do that!’
Onk! turned to him, smiling. ‘I had all the right in the world, sir.’
‘That was mine!’
‘Why was it yours? Because you paid for it? You paid money for it?’
‘Yes, and it wasn’t a small sum at that!’
‘Your money is worthless. It’s paper, it’s clicks and whistles in a computer somewhere. It’s a magnetic strip on a plastic card. I have just as much right to this car as you do. On top of that, whoever sold you this car was lying to you. This car wasn’t theirs to sell.’
‘It certainly was! It was a dealership!’
‘And they probably got it straight from the manufacturer--but they have no ownership of this car, either. Can you still see what it was made of? Steel, plastic, rubber--refined products that come from raw materials extracted from the Earth. These things belong to the Earth, and I have just as much “right” to the Earth as anyone else. So these things--and anything made from these things--are mine. After all, they didn’t ask my permission to use my raw materials.’
‘Why, I must assume they were extracted from land they owned or licensed to drill!’
‘Yes, but who sold them that land? And who gave them that license? I didn’t. I was never informed. I don’t mind they did it, but to lead you to believe that you have ownership of these things--that I do mind. Especially if you are reacting so violently against me doing what I will with what belongs naturally to me. This man--‘ and here he pointed to Albert-- ‘this man understands. He let me break his window and roll his car over here and blow it up, and I haven’t heard one word of complaint.’
‘I do mind,’ Albert said.
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