On Albert’s first day at Polytech Corporation’s Corporate Headquarters he had to fill out six different questionnaires that asked for the exact same information.
Name: Albert Hauser
Social Security Number: *** - ** - 0934
Address: 1**9 N. Umber Street Apt. 212
Los Angeles, CA 90029
Phone Number: 310-***-4994
Cell Number: 310-***-0933
Birthdate: 1/27/1980
Email address: ahauser021@imail.com
Department: IT
Spouse: None
Spouse’s place of employment: N/A
At the bottom of each page, he would sign and date on the appropriate lines. He returned all the paperwork to the appropriate personnel. Some looked over his responses to make sure he filled it out correctly; most filed it away without a second look. Ordinarily, only two of the forms he filled out would in all probability be referenced again. As it turned out, the police demanded all six forms, and a seventh that one of the office assistants had failed to give Albert.
The police also paid a visit to the security office where Albert had his picture taken for his ID badge. Albert was told to wait outside for a few minutes until his card was ready. Albert waited four minutes before the door opened and he was given a plastic card with the company logo and his picture, with a clip that enabled Albert to clip the badge to one of his trousers’ belt loops, which he did. Along with the badge, Albert received a parking sticker for his car. He was not told the proper location of the sticker on his vehicle.
Albert returned to his office about an hour after most of the staff had returned from lunch. A co-worker ran him through the system he would be dealing with. Every single piece of information Albert was given that afternoon he knew already, but he never told this to the co-worker, anticipating that at any moment he would be told something he did not know. He never was.
Albert left his office a little after five o’clock that evening and went to the parking garage. Since he was not sure about the proper placement of the parking sticker--and wanting to make sure he got it right to avoid complications in the future--Albert studied a selection of cars as he walked to his car. The stickers appeared to be placed on the dashboard right under the windshield on the driver’s side, so they were easily seen by anyone facing the front of the car. However, the stickers did not appear to be actually affixed using the sticky side of the sticker. Rather, the stickers were affixed to the windshield or the dash using tape, or just tucked in a crevice on the dash.
When Albert reached his car, he confidently placed his sticker roughly in the same area he had seen the others. Immediately, it fell down into a crevice, obscuring the VIN. Albert was sure this was a crime, but a few attempts at finagling the sticker out proved to be futile. The crevice was too small for Albert’s adult-sized fingers. Albert gave it up after a while and backed carefully out of his spot and drove out of the garage, failing to return the guard’s wave on the way out.
Traffic was slow, and Albert’s eyes kept darting down to the sticker--its corner was peeking out of the crevice. Albert made a few more attempts at red lights, but he only succeeded in wedging the sticker further down the crevice and out of reach. Again, Albert gave up.
But just about the time traffic was starting to pick up, Albert finally started making some progress with the sticker. He had been able to wedge his fingers deep within the crevice, thanks to the give in the windshield. Moreover, he had been able to bend the sticker over itself, making it easier to pull out. Even as the traffic slowly accelerated when the light turned green, Albert continued to maneuver the sticker, looking up only occasionally.
Right when Albert thought he had a great purchase, the sticker slipped from his fingertips and fell flat against the dash, right back where it started. Albert gave up for good this time. He looked up just in time to see that he was running a red light.
Albert’s stomach leapt when he found himself in the middle of the intersection with a solid red light quickly passing by overhead, but his embarrassment quickly turned to confusion when he found himself flanked by cars on each side, also, apparently, running the red light. Albert checked his rear view mirror, and sure enough, there were at least half a dozen cars following him behind.
In Albert’s bewilderment, he completely forgot about the sticker.
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